


i'm gonna lose it

by castofstars



Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Complete, F/M, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Rumors, Song: Lose It (SWMRS)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:26:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24673831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castofstars/pseuds/castofstars
Summary: a casual songfic inspired lightly by a rp
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Jaskier | Dandelion/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg
Comments: 3
Kudos: 6





	i'm gonna lose it

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first (and probably only) witcher fic! sorry if some of it doesn't make total sense but i had a blast writing it! i hope you enjoy!

As the new girl, Yennefer wasn’t too keen on the idea of pursuing a romance, especially with the excitable boy who seemed to push away anyone not equipped to deal with his bright personality. However, as they began speaking more, Yennefer couldn’t help but feel some sort of tug towards him. Maybe it was the easy flowing and sweet tone of his voice, or the way his eyes shone as he spoke. Or maybe it was the old fashioned way he provided a CD with her name printed on it.

_When I first saw you, I made a mixtape_

_I didn't know you'd do the same damn thing_

Jaskier hadn’t expected anything back from Yennefer. He had filled a CD with songs for her, some original, others that simply made him happy. Sure, the boy was excited to have someone to share his interests in, even if she did seem to drift off sometimes. The next day, he was given a CD of his own, his name scrawled in Yennefer’s loopy handwriting with a few small dandelions doodled along the edges.

_When I said goodbye to you, it went quiet '_

_Cause I didn't wanna feel any pain_

The night that Jaskier blocked Yen was full of tears. For hours, he did nothing but cry. Groups of friends had told him for weeks about the dangers of dating her. He deleted their conversations. He tried so desperately to scrub his mind of her. Her bright smile, the way she tapped her fingers against her thighs when she got nervous, her constant smile even when dealing with the craziest of his ideas. He shut himself down, numbing himself to her as they passed in the halls, now strangers.

_The last thing I want is another debutante_

_To take me away from my world (Take me away from my world)_

Jaskier showed up to school on Geralt’s arm a week later, a new shiny boy to place his affection on. A distraction at best. They were a perfect public couple, Geralt doting on Jaskier as the smaller boy reciprocated with equal enthusiasm. Geralt, however, could easily tell that Jaskier wasn’t as invested as he claimed to be. He saw the stolen looks across the hallways, through the classes.

_And I know that wasn't us, but it still got tough_

_S_ _o come on, come on_

Yennefer was heartbroken at her boyfriend’s reaction to the rumors. It wasn’t that Geralt was a bad person, he had just happened to be the rebound. She couldn’t angle her hatred towards either of them, instead letting it fester and morph into despair. She found herself a shadow of who she had been, listening to the same songs on repeat as Jaskier’s name etched itself deeper into her aching heart.

_And tell me_

_Why'd you have to have such a damn good taste in music?_

_Yeah, if all my favorite songs make me think of you I'm gonna lose it_

The first time Jaskier heard their songs after the break up was an accident. Geralt was over at his house, messing around with the player and poking fun at the fact that he still had one. He had pressed play, interested in his boyfriend’s taste in music. It had been one of Jaskier’s favorites, even before the personalized disk ended up in his hands. Jaskier didn’t think he had ever pressed pause so quickly.

_When we drove up the coast, we had a soundtrack_

_We made it feel like a film on a reel_

The song had been playing on a long car ride that the two of them had shared. The sunshine bright in their eyes, dyeing their skin with a warm orange color as they made their way to the beach. Yen’s hair flowed in the wind, whipping across her face as she laughed at some stupid remark Jaskier had made. Though her eyes were hidden by a pair of indigo tinted sunglasses, Jaskier could picture just how beautiful they were as he stared out at the road stretching in front of them. And our story didn't have a happy ending But it still sounded good, despite the way I feel He had changed the subject, quickly changing the CD out for a different one, explaining that the disk had a scratch and he didn’t want to damage it further. Geralt had happily gone along with the suggestion, especially since Jaskier was already dancing to a different song with his hands in the air. The taller boy couldn’t help but smile softly at Jaskier’s movements as the brunet danced his way over to Geralt, roping him into the dance party in the center of his room.

_The last thing I want is another broken heart_

Jaskier dropped Geralt the next week. He was stuck, his heart torn between chasing after Yennefer and leaving her a memory. He laid in bed, scribbling lyrics to meaningless songs, inspiration empty as he looped the CD with tears in his eyes.

_To drive me to the brink of crazy In the end I couldn't take it, 'cause I knew we wouldn't make it_

_S_ _o come on, come on_

Yennefer couldn’t stand it. She hated the silence between them, the glances that ended in prolonged longing eye contact, broken only by the need to take notes or answer a question. Maybe they weren’t meant for each other, but this felt like something unavoidable and welcoming. It was driving her crazy.

_And tell me_

_Why'd you have to have such a damn good taste in music?_

_Yeah, if all my favorite songs make me think of you I'm gonna lose it_

She had come so close to throwing that CD away, her hand hovering over the garbage can as she debated dropping the disk. It would’ve helped to ease the pain, take away the memories that they shared from the moment they met.

_Tell me_

_Why'd you have to have such a damn good taste in music?_

_Yeah, if all my favorite songs make me think of you I'm gonna lose it_

He could’ve written right over her music, erasing each kiss, each stolen glance and hidden smile. He could forget her and her music.

_In the end, we were just a couple kids_

_Who thought and fought our way around each other_

_There's a mark on the town from the times we had around_

_But there's still some space for the rest of our lives_

Jaskier couldn’t handle the tension just as much as Yennefer couldn’t. Nearly six months after their break up, he ambushed her after school. Soft words and apologies as they sat in the trunk of his car. She was still hesitant, fearful that just one rumor would split them again. But she trusted him, she could that he trusted her. All they needed was time.

_Tell me_

_Why'd you have to have such a damn good taste in music?_

_Yeah, if all my favorite songs make me think of you I'm gonna lose it_

A new CD appeared in her locker the next day, filled with new music, soft and hopeful. Looking away from their broken past, not a single song wasn’t written by Jaskier. His voice filled her car that afternoon, spilling into open air as she drove home.

_Tell me Why'd you have to have such a damn good taste in music?_

_Yeah, if all my favorite songs make me think of you I'm gonna lose it_

Days later, they walked the halls with intertwined hands again. They talked, hushed tones and bursts of laughter, like nothing had changed.

_I'm gonna lose it_

Stolen kisses at sunset, a beach spread out before them. Bathed in red-orange sunlight they sang. They formed their new memories, built on a fresh start.

_I'm gonna lose it_


End file.
